The most powerful conversations you have as a leader aren’t with your team—they are with yourself.
Most of us underestimate how much the stories we tell ourselves influence how we show up as leaders.
Take one of my clients, a newly promoted manager. His story was:
“I was only promoted because my boss needed someone, not because I’m ready.”
He carried that narrative into meetings—hesitating to share ideas, avoiding tough conversations, and second-guessing his decisions.
Over time, his team began to mirror that hesitancy.
As we worked together, he started to reframe his story:
“I was promoted because I’ve shown I can learn quickly and build strong relationships. I don’t have all the answers, but I know how to figure things out.”
The circumstances hadn’t changed—but the story had. And that changed everything.
With that new narrative, he approached challenges as opportunities to grow, and his team began to reflect that same confidence.
That simple shift didn’t just change how he approached challenges—it transformed how he showed up as a leader.
What’s Your Story…
As a leader, it’s worth asking yourself:
What stories am I holding onto that create hesitation, doubt, or avoidance—and how do they influence how I lead?
These stories might sound like:
- “I should have all the answers.” (certainty story — so I pretend to have answers instead of exploring solutions collaboratively)
- “I don’t want to upset anyone.” (people-pleasing story — so I hold back feedback and avoid tough conversations)
- “I need to be involved in everything.” (control story — so I find it hard to step back, delegate, and trust others)
- “I can’t afford to make a mistake.” (perfectionism story — so I overthink, second-guess, and delay decisions)
- “I don’t really belong.” (impostor story — so I stay in the background instead of showing up fully)
👉 Consider pausing here to capture your answer.
Once you’ve uncovered the stories holding you back, the next step is to create a clear vision of the story you want to live out.
A good place to start is by reflecting on the following questions:
– Fast forward: how do I want to be remembered by the people I lead?
– When I think of a leader I deeply respect, what three qualities do I most admire about them?
– How can I start embodying those qualities so I become the kind of leader I want to be remembered as?
👉 Consider pausing here; capturing your answers will make them stick.
Moving Forward…
The stories you tell yourself really do matter.
Examine them, disrupt the ones that don’t serve you, and then create a new story that aligns with the vision of the leader you want to become.
Whenever you are ready… here are 3 ways I can help you accelerate to your next level of performance & success:
- Free Resource – A Practical, Actionable Leadership Guide To Help Managers Become Inspiring People Leaders.
- Mindset Assessment – Discover How To Harness The Elite Athlete’s Mindset For Leadership Success With The ELI™ Assessment.
- Tailored Coaching Program – Work With Me 1:1 To Achieve A Whole New Level Of Leadership Performance, Well-Being, & Career Success.
